


Love That Lasts

by electricblueninja



Series: The Five Love Languages [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love, M/M, Supportive Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27232933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electricblueninja/pseuds/electricblueninja
Summary: It's one thing to be committed. It's another to express it.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: The Five Love Languages [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1988281
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	Love That Lasts

"You did _what_?"

Sam raises his eyebrows, flicking me a sidelong glance. 

"Yeah, and? It's just a book, Dean."

"No no no, don't do that. Don't play dumb, Sam. What'd you give him a book like that for? It's _weird_ , man. He gonna start thinking _I'm_ in love with him or some crazy shit like that." I sound slightly insane, even to me, and Sam's eyebrows have gone up so high they're nearly on the back of his head. 

I kick my brain into gear and slam down the gates on my mouth before it spouts out anything else stupid.

"Dean, I never said--I just thought he should, you know, brush up on his people skills. I never...Why would you think that Cas would start thinking..." 

He trails off, all wide eyes and fake innocence. I swear I see the corner of his mouth twitch, but it's only for a millisecond. Not long enough for me to be sure, or to justify smacking him upside his dumbass shampoo-ad head. 

"Why on earth would he jump to _that_ conclusion, Dean? _You_ , in love with _him_? Surely if he was going to get the wrong idea about anyone, it's me--I mean, _I'm_ the one who lent it to him." 

Aaand he's transitioned to a straight-up smirk now, the turd, because there's nothing I can say without either incriminating myself or sounding like a homophobic asshole.

"Okay, you know what? Forget it." I can feel myself changing colour, and I'm not happy about it, but the only thing I can think of doing to save face is an age-old reflex. "Bitch."

"Jerk," Sam replies, and peace is temporarily restored--or at least, Armageddon 2.0 is averted--because Cas chooses this exact minute to walk into the room. 

He looks between us a couple of times, his gaze settling on me. "I sense tension," he says, cautiously. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Sam beats me to a reply, smiling beatifically. "Not at all, Cas. I was just telling Dean about the book I lent you, and how he should read it sometime. How are you finding it?" 

"Oh." Cas looks at the wall, the floor, my shoes, Sam's face, then the floor again. "Yes. It's been very...informative, Sam. I thank you. I still have...much to learn about human communication."

Sam smiles at him; pats him gently on the shoulder. "It's alright man. These things take time. I mean, Dean over here, he has no idea how to communicate with people appropriately either, and he's always been human." 

"Except for when he was a demon."

"Oh...yeah. Plus when he got turned into a vamp that time."

Cas holds back a laugh. He and Sam share a Look, and it annoys me.

"You know, I'm right here."

They both glance my way, and even though I have their attention, I don't feel any better.

"Anyway," says Sam, after a moment, "I, uh, was kind of in the middle of a thing, so I'd better, uh, better get back to it. I'll see you guys later."

And then he splits. Like the little bitch he is.

I'm sitting at the table, and I can't get up or go anywhere without it being awkward for Cas. Jesus. Give me a wendigo or a vamp any day. A shifter, even, gross as they are. Anything but this...this...this awkward _thing_ between us. 

Cas means the world to me. I mean...Cas and Sam. They're everything I've got. But the thing is, right: Sam's my brother. I _understand_ being brothers. Cas, on the other hand...in the past, I've told him that he's 'like a brother to me'. But 'like' is the operative word there. And as time's gone on, it sounds more and more wrong. Friend, yes. Brother...no. It's just...it's different. Whatever the thing between us is, brotherhood is _not_ the right word. 

Do I love him?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

But it's not like...it's not a sex thing. 

I don't know why I even mentioned sex. Forget I said that. 

What I mean is that I like having sex, but that's not love. I don't need to love a girl to have sex with her. I don't think I _have_ loved many of the girls I've slept with. I might have told them otherwise, because I'm an A-grade jerk, but...Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to sleep with Cas. 

It's not like that.

But it's also not like anything else I've ever felt before, so I just...don't know what to do with it. All I know is that he matters to me, and I need him, and whenever I do need him, he's there for me.

Right now, he's still hovering in the doorway, staring at me, an unreadable look on his face, so I gesture to one of the chairs.

"You just gonna stand there, or...?"

He hesitates.

"Siddown, son, you're making me noivous."

I get a faint smile out of that. He comes over and sits across from me, steepling his fingers together on the table and staring at them.

"I was only joking, by the way," he says. "About you being a demon. I mean--you _were_ a demon, but you could have killed me, and you didn't."

I smile a little at that, because trying to talk smack and immediately apologising for it is such a Cas thing to do. "You're okay with setting the bar that low? Cas, man, you need to set higher standards."

"Dean, I'm saying that even when you were a demon, you were still human. Somewhere inside, you were still...good." He frowns a little as he says it. As an angel, it must be an awkward thing to hear come out of his own mouth, even if he did get kicked out of heaven.

"It's fine, Cas."

He nods silently, but his face is hardened by a frown. I call this 'the face of Deep Thoughts'.

"Okay. Thank you, Dean."

Looks like he's not going to come out and say whatever's bothering him, so...curiosity gets the better of me. I bite. 

"Is everything okay, Cas? You seem a little...I don't know. Off."

All at once, he looks bewildered and guilty. It's amazing. Celestial wavelength, blah blah, but he seems constantly surprised by how easily we read him, when really he just can't control his own damn face. 

"Yes," he admits, reluctantly. "Yes, I suppose I am a little 'off'."

"Okay, so...?"

"Dean, I...need you to help me with something."

"Okay...?"

"It's about...uh...love."

"Uh...What?"

I could be making it up, but his neck is looking pretty red, and he stumbles through the next few sentences. "Human love, I mean. You know...emotions. The tenderness and affection between people. The ways they choose to express how they feel to one another." He reaches up and rubs his hand through his own hair, everything screaming _awkward_. 

He has nice hands. They're big, and elegant, and the fingers are all nice and straight: no twists or bends from being broken, and no callouses or scars. I don't think Jimmy did much manual labour, but I guess even if he had Cas could have zapped him back to being all shiny and new. 

"So...let me make sure I've got this straight." I respond slowly, to buy myself more time. "You want me, world's worst relationship material, to talk to you about...about love? Like, man and woman love? The love you made with April love?"

"April?" Confusion crosses his face, replaced moments later by understanding. "I, uh...Well, I..." 

He pauses for what feels like a painfully long time, even though I can see the clock on the wall, and I know it's only seconds.

"Yes, I...I suppose so. But also...I want to understand the...the types of love. I mean, from what I know of humans, from...from observations, there are so many different kinds of love. There is romantic love, but there is also familial love between parents and children, and siblings...I understand the different types of love in those cases, but what of...what of friends?"

Crap.

"I don't know, Cas. I guess it depends on the...friend." 

I shrug, trying to shake off the gooseflesh creeping up my spine from the way he's looking at me.

_For the love of God, Cas, don't ask about us._


End file.
